Grape Expectations - Megastore myopathy
Max Crus
De Bortoli Sacred Hill Semillon Sauvignon Blanc 2008 [©Max Crus]
“Hello, how are you today”. The contrast between the greeting at Rabbits Warehouse and other large enterprises couldn’t be starker.
Of course their’s is a face-to-face business and given the troubles, trails and tributaries of actually purchasing something from the megathingy, any less customer consideration in a shop full of chainsaws, axes and nail guns would be culpable.
Nevertheless, for some idiots, even the warmest welcome just makes you hotter under the collar. Take me for instance.
It was a simple exercise, four brackets, few screws, few bolts and a new drill bit to replace the 37 broken ones. How hard could it be?
Amazingly, despite the fastener divisions being very much like pay TV, ie 40,000 options but the one you want is not available, I had everything and was gone in 60 minutes, just like a real handy man.
The brackets didn’t fit, naturally, which was annoying not because of having to go back, but for the embarrassment of returning items worth a mere $4.50, although that was nowhere near as humbling as the returning of the screws, worth half that.
Whoops, forgot the bolts for the feet, trip number three.
Lucky there’s no ‘three strikes and you’re out’ policy, and the fourth trip could have been made by anyone, just like the mistake that prompted it - ie why spend $2.50 on bolts when you can get the same thing for 20cents? They looked similar and it wasn’t exactly the space shuttle, tolerances wouldn’t be that close, would they. The end of mine was fast approaching.
Sometimes you wonder if you would make half as many bad purchases if there wasn’t so much choice which, as in mega wine stores, can quickly erode any price advantage.
There’s plenty of times when you’d be quite happy spending a dollar on that one obscure screw instead of $5 on a whole packet of the buggers. Anyway, here’s some wines where lowest prices are just the beginning :
De Bortoli Sacred Hill Semillon Sauvignon Blanc 2008, $7ish.
The Pope must have had a hand in this, it is astonishingly drinkable stuff. Simple and sensible, bit like moi except for the second bit. 7.8/10.
Talinga Park Sauvignon Blanc 2008, $10.
More eminently drinkable stuff for the price of a packet of screws, and a smidgen more savvy than the above, making it a smidgen more modern. 8/10.
Lerida Estate Pinot Noir 2006, $28.50.
Funky, earthy, butch, and a tad rough, very much like a girl I knew at uni, and she was quite nice in her own little way too. Fewer than 170 cases left as of last week, so hurry. 8/10.
Yeringberg Yarra Valley 2006, $60.
The makers say this classic mix of claret (cab sav/cab franc/merlot/malbec/petit verdot) will age gracefully in a cool dark place for seven or more years. Or about 90 minutes in my warm, bright kitchen. 8.7/10.
Flametree Frankland River Shiraz 2007, $25.
Such a good price for a wine, not too cheap, not up itself, smells mysterious but is so soft you could sleep on it - indeed I will be. 8.5/10.
Zilzie Cabernet Sauvignon, 2006, $17.
It sounds snobby, but given the price and that it is from Mildura, this is remarkable gear. 8.7/10.
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